One day I had a date for lunch with friends. Mae, a little old "blue hair" about 80 years old, came along with them--All in all, a pleasant bunch.When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches,…

* Juan Valdez names his donkey after you. * You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. * You answer the door before people knock. * You just completed another sweater and you don't know…

Things To Remember When You Are On A Diet1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.2. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they…

An oldie but a goodie! Mushroom walks into a bar, bellies on up to the bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "Are you kidding? We don't serve mushrooms here!" Mushroom says: "Why not? I'm a fun-gi(guy)"…

For a good laugh read some of these hysterical food quotes from celebrities and food lovers from all over.

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. ......When the dinner…

Need To Learn Your MannersOne day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn't happy about…

As dessert was served to the visiting pastor, the hostess apologized for not having any cheese to go with the apple pie. Hearing this, her little son slipped down from his chair and left the room, then…

At the Waffle house, a regular customer was served his breakfast, but it arrived with only three sausages instead of the usual four. The waitress explained that the cook had dropped one on the floor and…

This proves that drinking and guns really don't mix. Two drunk men were out bird-hunting. Suddenly, one of them said,"Hey! I see two birds!" "Well, shoot then,"said the other man. "But which…