* Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
* You answer the door before people knock.
* You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
* You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You walk twenty miles on the treadmill before realizing it's not plugged in.
* You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
* You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
* You ride an exercise bike to work.
* You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* You use coffee flavored mouthwash.
* You help your dog chase its tail.